Wednesday, 30 May 2012

I want to add an addendum to my previous post now that the dust has settled (I hope!)

First, I want to thank the many friends who have supported me online and personally. I am not going to name individuals as this blog is open to all and I do not want anyone to be the next in the line of fire if such would be the case. The love and support that has been conveyed to me has not only helped me ride above this maelstrom, it has shown to me how much I am valued by others. I know how to "be a friend" but I've always had difficulty in letting others help me in return. I will not let my world be diminished by an ugly person. I am stronger than this, but sometimes we all need reminders.

Yes, I am an opinionated person, but I am not a self righteous person. I have had my opinions altered by meaningful discussions and willingness to review my thinking given other peoples' opinions. I will continue to stand up for what I think is right (don't get me started on copyright and posting photos without permission!!) and continue to defend friend or foe who is being wrongly treated. I will not, however, pillory anyone in public unless it is the last resort.

Lastly, I hope that this has raised the issue that bullying occurs at every stage in life, not just to young people, and in every society. By allowing it to go unchallenged we are giving it our tacit approval. One of the things that happened in my life that truly influenced my behavior in stepping up to the plate and speaking up happened when I was only 18. I was married to a serviceman stationed in Germany. We lived in the small town itself and I got to know a few older Germans. No one wanted to talk about WWII. The standard answer from them was that they didn't know what was actually happening with the Nazis or that they were afraid or it wasn't any of their business what was happening to others. I met a woman who was a secretary for a high ranking Nazi office who said she was just doing her job. I didn't, and don't, understand it. Looking at the state of the world today, I question how much has really changed. All we have to do is say nothing whether it is on the littlest or the biggest injustice for the snowball to start rolling.

I am off to post on Facebook and the Welcome Mat and then I will continue to work on a rug in progress......loudly singing "I Will Survive" much to my cat's chagrin. Thanks everyone for helping me get my mojo back!

Sunday, 27 May 2012

What to do?

I have spent the last 3 days quite upset over a recent attack on my character by Jackie Roop which I am unable to defend. I have resurrected this blog which I never used to use as a forum to stand up and tell what happened from my side. I am not asking people to take sides and fully am aware that many may not like the letter I sent to this woman in the first place, but I hope you take the circumstances into consideration. I stand by what I wrote...this was not a knee jerk reaction to something trivial this woman said or wrote, but it was written from a point of personal interaction with her, including face to face. I have always and will always stand up to bullies even if it costs me and I do not do things without a lot of thought. I think the letter is self explanatory without going into the nitty gritty, but there are a lot of things behind the scenes including threats Jackie was making to destroy the credibility of my friend Wanda and The Welcome Mat of which I was a member. I sat back for 2 years and said nothing as I gave Jackie the benefit of the doubt as she seems to have many problems...I see now that I was duped and believe she is just inexcusable.

 I want to point out that at no time have I ever disparaged Jackie online. This letter was sent to her privately on Rug Hooking Daily, person to person. Jackie then took it upon herself to complain to Heidi Wulfraat who owns the site who immediately suspended me. She said she wouldn't have any negativity on the site including anything written privately when I asked her why I was suspended without question.  In spite of several vile emails Jackie sent to me over the course of the next few weeks after she got the letter, I chose not to respond. They were so hateful I just deleted them. I had my say and even though she was forwarding my letter to anyone and everyone with comments about how nasty I was and poor her, I refused to rise to the bait. She even went so far as to tell me to send my condolences to my family!

 Fast forward to last week, a full 9 months later. A friend emailed me to ask if I was all right as she had seen a very nasty post directed at me on a rug hooking site on Facebook. I am only on a few FB hooking sites and rarely on FB anyway so didn't see it. I logged on Friday morning only to see a notification of a post in a particular group. It was from a woman I had never heard of from South Africa asking the question 'Is Jean Schroderus who wrote the letter to Jackie Roop a member of this site?' Knowing it was a direct jab, I responded and said in a nutshell that anyone who wanted to discuss the situation was invited to contact me personally. I was immediately told to remove my post by the moderator as it made for unpleasant reading for members. I was and am beside myself....why does Jackie have the right to post for everyone to see and I have no right to reply? How do you fight an online bully who lives an ocean away? I recall Jackie saying that revenge is her thing and has been all her life...I wonder what else she has written about me and what will she do next? Here's the private letter....just so everyone can see what was actually said. From the sound of it, it seems Jackie isn't quoting what was actually said either. How it was anyone else's business except between me and her I never could figure out!

Dear Jackie,
Once in a great while I pop on to this site to see what this community is up to. Imagine my surprise to see your posts in the Portraits group! It bothered me to the point that I feel compelled to write you. I have bit my tongue on more than one occasion and not addressed you, but this takes the cake!

 I audited the online Portrait class, not hooking for my own reasons, so I know what transpired between you and Wanda. You behaved quite badly and Wanda was right in not allowing you in the last part of the class. She was gracious enough to offer you your money back....I would have just thrown you out! You weren't trying, just slap dashing something together. It wasn't a social club, Jackie, people were honestly trying to learn something! As always, you need to be the center of attention even when you don't know what the hell you are talking about. Spooky sent me a nice note on the Mat and when I went to her page to comment back, I saw a really nasty post you left about Wanda and the low can you go? Now I see you posting what was taught in Wanda's class in the RHD Portrait group! Your little disclaimer of "I'm not a teacher here" doesn't clearly are trying to take center stage again. And you know what? You aren't very good to start with! I have never commented on your "portraits" because all they are are copies of what someone else paint by numbers...and then not all that good. Rug hooking is like "The Emperor's New Clothes" one ever wants to tell the truth when something isn't nice so I wouldn't believe all the comments you get about how nice your work is.

 I'm not sure you really appreciate just how much you annoy people. I actually had someone tell me that you called around to find their phone number and called them out of the blue! Do you know how invasive that is?! Do you have any boundaries? Get a are not the center of the universe. You nearly ruined the class for me at Wanda's 2 summers really is apparent that you have no interest in furthering your skills. Please take a minute to rethink how you interact with people because most people just put up with it and will not say what they think. After 2 years, I'm finally fed up enough to just tell you. Grow up and quit being so selfish. Jean Schroderus

So where am I at now? I am really upset and debating whether I want to be a member of any group at all. I had stepped back from posting much because of the fall out (yes, some people did stop talking to me online).  Oddly enough, no one has ever asked ME why I wrote the letter in the first place. Jackie is not a member of the Welcome Mat and I am suspended from RHD.  I question why she has chosen a few obscure rug hooking groups by English people on Facebook that I belong to (I live in England and she in Canada) and of all the hundreds of rug camps on offer, was checking into attending Reeth which I go to yearly (a small camp of 33) and talk about readily! Is her lust for revenge that sick that she needs to go to such lengths? And revenge for what...for me having an opinion?! I recently moved and was going to attend a nearby hooking group. I asked online on FB and was welcome to come, but since the post Jackie made on FB went out I've had no reply from the group leader. Coincidence?? I thought that the moderator who told me to remove my post or I would be removed from the FB site was actually a friend of mine. How many people who actually know me would say something to Jackie to contradict her nastiness and defend my character? My past is littered with abuse I struggled years to overcome, but I'm tired of fighting now. Maybe it's just time to disengage with everything because this hurt is not worth it. I don't know how to stand up and fight this. So take this as you will, again I'm not asking people to chose, just presenting my side....and a warning to be very careful of this woman.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

This is a test post.